When my husband Sean lived in Buenos Aires – before we got married-, he used to bring back goodies from his native UK that weren’t available in Argentina. Every time I opened that special kitchen cabinet, wonderful aromas of faraway places wafted out.

Sean introduced me to things like Heinz baked beans, Marmite, Bovril, mango chutney and Indian curry. It was love at first bite with Branston pickles! He would cook his childhood staples for me: cottage pie, beans on toast (oh happiness!), cauliflower cheese or toad in the hole, as well as the curries he is famous for. I think knowing what he ate as a boy helped me know the man a little better.

I didn’t really have to cook typical Argentinean food for Sean since he had already adopted it. He became adept at manning the parrilla (grill,) probably by channelling his inner gaucho. Every year, my family looks forward to Christmas because they know my hubby will produce yummy baby back ribs, grilled flank steak or sirloin, or whatever takes his fancy at the time. Last year he cooked a whole suckling pig for the first time!

One of Sean’s favourite snacks is empanadas: sweet corn, ham and cheese, beef, cheese and onion… and the mouth-watering list goes on. Not long ago, he came up with a new idea for a filling, one which perfectly combines both of our cultures: chicken curry empanadas. How’s that for multiculturalism? By the way, these curry empanadas were a huge hit with some our British friends too.

Although we can get some British and Argentinean food in Dallas, Texas, where we’re living now, we still like to bring some stuff back with us whenever we visit either Argentina or the UK and have a little taste of home.

This is what our pantry looks like now:

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Cross-cultural marriages are quite common in the UK. Recently Anoushka Asthana, who is of Indian descent, described her own cross-cultural relationship in an article in the Guardian.

“For Toby and me, our first three months together have undoubtedly been a reminder of just how different our cultures are. After all, the wedding did not prepare him for the next step of our marriage – a trip to India to meet the real family. Toby grew up on the outskirts of Oxford with his mum, dad, brother and a succession of dogs. He had one aunt and no first cousins. I, too, grew up in England (near Manchester) with both parents and a brother – but that is where the similarities end.

Welcome to India, where first cousins are akin to brothers and sisters, second cousins to first cousins and any close family friend is considered – and treated – as a relative. Add to that the fact that everyone wants to meet, cuddle, feed and interrogate a new husband. For Toby, that means a new family with 17 “brothers and sisters”, dozens of cousins and almost 100 aunties and uncles“.

More cross-cultural families means more cross-cultural children. A study mentioned in the article found that 10% of children in the UK now live in mixed-race families. More on this in the next few weeks - if you’d like to share your experiences please get in touch.

Is cross-cultural marriage common in your country? If you’re in a cross-cultural relationship, do you know others in similar relationships? Tell us about it in the comments.

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Where are you from?

I am from the West Midlands in the UK and my husband is from Virginia in the US

Where did you meet?

We met in Zambia, Africa. We were both volunteers in the same area.

What language do you speak at home?

English, but two different versions of it! Now we are back in Zambia we both speak one of the local languages, but Chad speaks it much more fluently than me.

Do you try to cook food from each other’s countries?

Chad makes a good chilli and homemade burger. Being a food writer, I do most of the cooking - he loves my Yorkshire pudding. Mostly we cook food from all over the place, I lived in Italy for a while and my sister-in-law is Italian so that has a big influence on what we eat.

Can you explain one part of your partner’s culture you found surprising?

I think it’s sometimes assumed that America and Britain are similar so finding any differences is surprising. I would say the biggest surprise for me is how traditional Americans seem to be in comparison to Brits when it comes to family life and relationships. I think we British are more flexible about dating and marriage and how things ‘are done’. However I think it is difficult to generalise too much because America is so huge and influenced by so many other countries.

What’s the best thing about a cross-cultural relationship?

Of course you learn a great deal from someone from another culture, for me being married to an American is wonderful – American culture has become such a mythological thing as it has penetrated so many other cultures. I personally love American fiction so to see a country I have read so much about is very exciting. Personally I have found Americans to be warm and friendly people and I have many friends there now who I have great affection for.

What’s the hardest thing about being in a cross-cultural relationship?

We do not always see eye to eye politically, and there are some topics we don’t really touch upon because they are so controversial. We also have the problem of working out where to live, wherever we go we will be far away from one or the other side of the family. Maybe that’s why we are in Zambia again!

Do you have any advice for other cross-cultural couples?

Learn as much as you can about your partner’s culture and ensure they are doing the same. If you understand where your partner is coming from you understand who they are. Visit that country and ask a lot of questions and talk about your differences. If you have children I think it is crucial they grow up knowing both cultures it, will make them richer human beings.

Find Elizabeth on her blog Scrapbook

Read more:
More interviews with cross-cultural couples
The year of America: are Americans misunderstood?
Blogs from the UK on Blogs of the World
Blogs from the USA on Blogs of the World

Where are you from?

Bose was Indian until recently and is now a US citizen; Anna is English and hopes to be a joint UK/US citizen soon.

Where did you meet?

We met in New York City (where we both live) at a dinner organized by a colleague of Anna who is married to a high school friend of Bose.

What language do you speak at home?

We speak English – neither of us speaks another language fluently. Bose speaks a little Malayalam (the language of Kerala, India) but is no longer fluent. His Spanish is probably better than his Malayalam.

Do you try to cook food from each other’s countries?

We both enjoy food from many countries and our cooking at home reflects that. Anna cooks some traditional English foods; Bose likes to learn how to cook these and other dishes from Anna. Neither of us have learned to prepare Keralan food so we do not cook that at home – but we enjoy it when visiting Bose’s parents or sister.

Can you explain one part of your partner’s culture that you found surprising?

Anna: I was surprised by the segregation of men and women at social gatherings in Kerala. This seems to stem in large part from the fact that women do not (or are expected not to) drink alcohol or smoke in Kerala, while the men drink like fish and often smoke. Therefore, the men tend to gather around the bar, standing in groups to talk while drinking and smoking while the ladies sit around tables drinking juice. At home, the same thing happens after dinner – the ladies retire to one room to chat while the men go to drink in another.

Bose: No real surprises although I was surprised at how much I liked English food after all the jokes one hears about English cooking.

What’s the best thing about being in a cross-cultural relationship?

Anna: Exposure to another culture! Of course, it is great to have the opportunity to learn about another culture from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, to travel to the country of your partner, to experience home life in that country and to broaden one’s horizons and make new acquaintances through that experience.

Bose: Discovering treacle tart.

What’s the hardest thing about being in a cross-cultural relationship?

Bose: The biggest challenges were more logistical than cultural. We have to do a lot of travelling to keep in touch with our families.

Anna: It is certainly a challenge to spend sufficient time with our families because they are so far from us and from each other, geographically, as well as culturally. We live in the USA, while Anna’s parents are in England and Bose’s parents are in India. We have an 18 month old son who cannot spend much time with his grandparents and of course it is expensive in terms of time and money to visit our parents each year. Our parents have never met each other. Of course some people may think distance from the in-laws is a benefit of a cross-cultural marriage!

Do you have any advice for other cross-cultural couples?

Anna: Be sure to discuss where you would like to live for the rest of your lives - this could be a tough discussion but you have to have it.

Bose: Reiterate Anna’s point that this should be resolved thoroughly before getting married (even more thoroughly than we did).

Read more:
Meet Sharell and Pradeep (Australia and India)
Meet Ozlem and Javier (Turkey and Spain)
Meet Matthew and Shinichi (USA and Japan)

The frog and I speak a language understood only by ourselves, where sentences may start in French, end in English and include some words which hover somewhere in between. I’ve adopted some of the frog’s more endearing mistakes because they amused me: faulty plurals (feets, sheeps), creative past tenses (“I’m feeling hanged over”). He also does a very convincing faux Yorkshire accent when he says “fancy a cuppa tea luv?” and slips into it automatically (as do I) when he spends time with my family.

Mother called last night and asked the frog if he had any idea what she could get him for his upcoming birthday. I would give anything to have been a fly on the wall to see her reaction when he said that he could do with a pair of handcuffs*.

Strait-laced mother must have been struggling to process this unexpected/unwelcome revelation about our sex life and his request was met with a protracted embarrassed silence. I was too busy choking with mirth on a sour cream and onion Pringle to put either of them out of their misery.

He meant cuff links*.

Reproduced with permission from Catherine Sanderson´s blog Petite Anglaise. Catherine is about to publish a book about her adventures living in Paris.

*note for non-native english speakers:
handcuffs - the police use them to fasten your hands together
cuff links - decorative device used to fasten shirt sleeves